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I like the original touch James. Really, just some brand spanking new material you got there sir.

Through the looking glass.

The cold enveloped me, embraced me, filled every crevice of my lungs with life. My eyes were unbelieving, I looked at my hands to reinforce their existence. It all looked so complete, so bittersweet, so lovely. So beautiful. So unnatural. He walks up behind me, fills in the empty spots with his warmth. Embraces me, holds me. Anchored. Yet, it's still so unreal. Too perfect, too heart wrenching.

There comes a point and time in everyone's life when they look upon a moment like this, and realize it's not theirs to experience. They stand at the sidelines, maybe with another, and want to cry at the sheer beauty of what is happening. Yet, they don't want to break the ethereal looking glass that has been presented to them. So they stand there, hiding behind a smile. Waiting for their turn.

I look around. Snowflakes drop heavily upon the ice, putting weight on everything. Hush now child, enjoy what you have - they cried. It will be all gone by the morning, we will hide the evidence of this. You don't have to deny yourself this moment.

Yet, I knew. We all know. Even if we let go, even if we really did take the time to appreciate this - life, beauty, fragility of moments, innocence - what would happen to us? What would become of the meaning behind our routines, our chases, our work, our early morning rises and late nights? What would, then, we be? Is it all futile?

Left foot forward, right foot forward. Swish, swish. Silence. I'm by no means a skater, but I like to enjoy the company of those I love. Even when it means I stand alone. My sheer inability to let go has left me here. In the middle of a frozen pond, left in the dark. Left foot forward, right foot forward. Don't let go of the one you love. You'll fall straight through the ice.

Am I then not defined by what I make of myself, but by what I love?

A street lamp lit the longing trees with a forgiving halo. I loved everyone here. So much. I loved the moon hiding behind the clouds, I loved my fellow angels in the snow. I loved the man sitting beside me, warming me with his smile. I loved their laughs, their excitement, their dreams and hopes. Their ability to forget and let go. I loved this, I loved life. Yet I knew this wasn't for me to love, this wasn't mine.

Sometimes you look at life, and you realize that by now, you should have figured out something. That something should have gone right by now. But it never does. It never happens.

I suck in the cold. Breathe in, breathe out. Laugh at someone's joke. Take life in at the looking glass, hoping that someday I won't have to anymore. Hoping that someday, it will be my turn.

Because everyone deserves a turn, don't they?

Don't they?

Lookin' for some happiness....

Good morning world.

I wake up,
slip on my jeans and a splattered tank top.
I eat a liter of yogurt,
I crank up the stereo at ten in the morning
and I dance like a madman,
sing my lungs out,
run my hands through my wet hair.

Now I run outside dressed as I am,
take in the pristine blue sky,
crystalline snow,
I take it all in -
every part of me invigorated.
Freezing. Alive.

Good Morning World.
I'm ready.

I think we'll have to walk.

'Cause what is simple in the moonlight
by the morning never is.

Shut Down.

Turn off.

In your car.
When it all suddenly becomes silent.
Eerily calm,
Music stops playing,
Engines stop rumbling.

And the machine begins to rest.

In your room.

When it all becomes pitch black,
And you shut your eyes,

For the night,

And you begin to rest.

When the rush of the rolling world seems to stand still.

Until you turn it on again, that is.

Starlight.

Starlight's fading,
Hope is dying
I don't think I'll live to see the sun.
Live a daydream,
Eyes wide open
I don't I'll ever see the point.
But if you, want to stay
Get the hell out of my way.

Lovely stranger,
Sing a song,
If you think it lasts then you're wrong.
Move on baby
don't run standing,
Live your live and nobody cares.
But if you, want to stay
Get the hell out of my way.

And I know it's never easy,
but that's well understood.
And I know someday you'll meet me,
But till then, dear, farewell.

Starlight's fading,
Hope is dying
I don't think I'll live to see the sun.

The Game of Life

I sit here,

Pondering,

Wondering,

Thinking about anything that comes to mind.

Why am I here?

What is my purpose?

Then an epiphany,

Life is a game,

And im losing.

First Blood

Just as the sword slices,

Human flesh.

The quill slices words onto,

paper.

Some people are brave enough to embrace,

the sword.

Some challenge,

the pen.

The difference lies in the story,

we write,

And with which medium,

we dip our weapon in.

But we all draw blood.

Cassette Tapes...

Hi everyone. I am pretty much drained. A mindless wanderer. It isn't so bad sometimes- the things I think about during these circumstances are all so beautiful and simple. Nothing has, or will, drastically change my mood.
I am kind of a sentimental person. It may not seem like it, but I just have this crazy memory for people and situations. Now, that doesn't mean I am going to remember your name right away- of course there are flaws. Anyway... back to my point. I often get excited about random photographs. They will remind me of something and by the time I am done looking, I have gone back in time and looped all the way back around again.


This one had me smiling today. Remembering cassette tapes...
Music used to be so much more artistic. When cassette tapes were in high popularity illegally downloading music off the Internet was still a thing of the future. People used to actually be excited for new albums. The anticipation would grow for months, and people would run to music stores. I still buy CD's often, although the last 2 I bought were not very awesome- and it has left me feeling poor. Vinyl records are the coolest though. Not just because they sound real... but because the album art is huge. They are coming back you know! That will be interesting.
Cassette tapes were an odd little time in music history. They remind me of VHS tapes. Haha Whatever. The point I was trying to get to, was that it was a real pain when the cassette tape unraveled.

I obviously can not use commas properly.

Much love.

My dearest icon.

My dear little chat icon, oh how I wish you would turn green. You simply cannot understand the endless frustration and hours that I spend, going on and off of the computer, checking to see if you had changed within the last five minutes. It drives me crazy, waiting for you to come online...

Oh oh oh oh. It's green! It's green! IT'S GREEN! But NOW I'm miserable because I don't know what to say. I don't know whether I'll sound too needy or if I'll sound too casual. Is "hi" really the safe way to go, or should I open with something fresh and dar... Oh wait.. what?

No no no no. Don't do this to me. It's just a malfunction, something's obviously gone wrong. I've gone color blind, my computer has suddenly stopped showing the color green, something else...Damn it.

You're offline again.

New decade...new beginnings?

I thought it might be nice to write about this occasion. I don't know why- I find New Years hard. I tried to write about this earlier, and came up short. What is that saying? "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." That drives me crazy. What ever happened to "I don't want to"? That has been floating in my thoughts for days. Relentlessly. I have had to fight myself off to even walk out my front door. Anyway, I will save that for another time. New years... I could always write something with some sort of artistic value, and hope that it spreads inspiration- but who am I kidding? It is almost 3am. It's not happening.

So...I will leave you with my hope. My hope is that this new year of 2010 is everything you hope for. Filled with joy and new discoveries. My wish, is that you find comfort. Contentment. Picture perfect moments. Love in all aspects.

Goodnight, and Happy 2010.